The CV Kid!



After several sessions of picking out nuances and nuisances of the CV, several heart pounding reviews and common one-liners “Isko CV bolte hain?”, in the middle of one long CV making session I had this dream, a realization may be of what I would want my child to be – the CV kid. Everything he would be or do would have to be recorded and drafted in the best possible manner in single line bullet points.

Snapshots of the CV at different points of time...

CV at age 1
CV Kid                  
Email: cvkid@gmail.com

·         Cried out loud (1000 dB) just after birth, one of the loudest ever recorded (Proof: Deaf Nurse’s undersigned letterhead )
·         At the age of 1 month said “tata”, the youngest to say a full English word (Proof: Video recording of the same, tested for not being morphed by IISc, Bangalore)
·         Completed 525,600 minutes of existence on 1st birthday (Proof: Continuous recording of the last 1 year as in ‘The Trueman’s Show’ )

CV at age 5
CV Kid                  
Email: cvkid@gmail.com



·         Managed to grab the attention of 536 bystanders at the CST by crying for a balloon (Proof: CCTV footage of the same)
·         Lean production of tears at 1drop/min for 8 hours to convince the family to get me a tricycle (Proof: Photo with the tricycle which shows 82 tissues around)
·         Efficient use of available resources to make a tree house (Proof: Signed permission of Mr. Anirban Ghosh, B.E (Civil), the govt civil engineer of the region to construct the building)


CV at age 10
CV Kid                  
Email: cvkid@gmail.com



·         Failed in 3 subjects in Class 1 even after Kapil Sibal’s efforts to remove all parameters of judgement (Proof: Marksheets)
·         Ran for 7.8 km at a stretch to avoid drinking milk (Proof: The actions were performed under professional supervision, letter from the stunt school) [Actually this should be my Mom’s CV point]
·         Maintained top rank in the 10% of the bottom 10% of the class consistently for 5 years (Proof: Marksheets again)


CV at age 20
CV Kid                  
Email: cvkid@gmail.com



·         Consolation for Appearing in IIT-JEE for 2nd time (Proof: JEE admit card)
·         Managed admission in ‘Prabhu Dayal Nanakram Godbole Institute of Technology’; 1 amongst a batch of 60 selected from 20 Lac students appearing for AIEEE (Proof: Letter from the Director)
·         Started a facebook campaign ‘Let’s make a CV’ which received 100,000 likes from various B-school grads (Proof: Admin of that page)
·         Managed a 500% increase in the viewership of my blog on CVs in 1 year (Proof: Blogger page stats which show 6 pageviews, also have a snapshot of the page 1 year back which had 1 view)



Highly efficient...I mean soporific...I mean...”Hey you! The one with the glasses... Wake up! Up and running to collect your proofs!”


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